Super Owen

I know what you’re thinking: What kind of person deems their child a Super Hero? Way to pass along the old ego to the next generation…. Clearly, if that’s where your head is at, you haven’t spent nary a moment with the likes of Owen. Believe me, my son is befitting of a blog entitled, “Super Owen” in many senses of the word “super.” We’re proud, to be sure, but being a Wonder Parent isn’t easy.

Let’s take, for example, superlatives. A super word, no doubt. Owen’s spent more than five years honing his superlative skills and coming up with some doosies to keep us on our toes.

• After five years of trying to conceive and finally getting pregnant with Owen, I can safely say it felt like one of the longest conceptions ever.
• Somehow he managed to be six days late, even with two sessions of acupuncture, spicy food, long hikes and all those other — ahem — activities that are supposed to induce labor. It  felt like the longest pregnancy ever.
• At 36 hours, Owen managed to bless us with one of the longest labors ever. He really, really liked it in there. A super-womb, perhaps?
• When Owen was finally born, he was the reddest baby ever. Really, look at the picture, I kid you not. Sure, we didn’t cut the cord right away because it’s healthy for all that placental blood to be pumped back into the baby, but he was a little ball of hemoglobin those first few days.
• It didn’t take us long to find out he was the worst sleeper ever. We’re talking a normal night he’d be up 12, 13, 14 times. Until he was four. Years. Old.
• That isolated incident of sleeping eight hours straight when he was two and a half months old proved he was the biggest tease ever.
• I do believe he holds the world record for being the oldest child to sleep in an Amby bed. It was put away around his fourth birthday, three years after the recommended age limit.
• I think he also holds the title for “most consecutive days wearing a cape.”
• Owen was perhaps the youngest child ever to clearly pronounce the word “screwdriver” and use it as part of his everyday vocabulary, at 14 months.
• Is there a category for “most food allergies ever“? Thankfully he’s outgrown some, but at one point we were dealing with wheat, cow dairy, cashew, pistachio, goat dairy, peanut, eggs … did I get them all?

Through all of the negative superlatives he’s given us over the past five-plus years, he’s still managed to shine through as the best kid ever.

Surely there are some Owen superlatives that we missed. Those of you who know him — or think you know him — feel free to add your own in the comments.