Archive for the ‘age 5’ Category

Owen’s “Love Toothpaste”

Thursday, July 29th, 2010

Owen was having an angry morning today. He didn’t want to do anything to cooperate (of course we had to get out the door and off to camp) and he had every excuse in the book not to brush his teeth, from “I hate toothpaste” to “I hate bristles.” Don’t even get me started on the fact that we don’t say the word “hate” in our house (or apparently one of us does).

At least he didn’t say he hated me, because he pretty much said everything else, including, “I don’t like you and I wish you were never my mother.” Ah, music to the ears.

Finally went to brush his teeth with those hated bristles, and when he came back, the first thing he said was, “I love you, Mommy.” I thanked him, reciprocated and couldn’t keep myself from mentioning the sudden change of tune. Owen, who has an answer for everything, explained: “I think it was love toothpaste.”

If that’s all it takes to have a great day, I should definitely market that stuff….

Business guys don’t wear t-shirts

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

A few weeks ago, Owen and I were riding bikes down to the end of our short street. A car was coming, so we pulled over to the side. Owen said, “I wonder if that’s Molly’s dad.”

As the car went by, we could see it was some older, gray and balding guy in a collared, button-down shirt.

“Nope,” Owen said. “It’s just some business guy.”

“Oh yeah, what makes you say it was a business guy?”

“Because. He was wearing clothes like Pa and Grampa wear.”

A fly on the wall….

Wednesday, April 14th, 2010

As the mom of a socially awkward five-year-old boy, I’ve often wanted to be a fly on the wall when he’s talking to his friends. Yeah, I admit I want to see who starts the potty talk and which one says “lookit,” but I really want to hear how Owen interacts with his friends.

I got that chance today, or as close to it as I’ll probably get, when I picked up Owen and his friend, Colin, from school for a playdate. As the chauffeur in the front seat (and not possessing the proper Bionicle lingo to be taken seriously) I was virtually invisible, and every question I asked about how school was went unanswered. I gave up and eavesdropped. After Colin was satisfied with the reasons Owen took off his shoes the moment he entered the car, the conversation went something like this:

Colin: “Sometime Sawyer (2-year-old brother) takes off his shoes too.”

Owen: “Yeah, and his clothes a lot too.”

Colin: “And sometimes his diaper (the mystery of the potty talk is becoming clearer).”

Owen: “Ewwww! Did you see his underwear?”

So if you were a fly on the wall, you too might hear the sweet sounds of pure innocence, with a little dopey thrown in.

Brown eggs are local eggs and local eggs are fresh

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

My men are spoiled, what can I say? They are used to farm fresh eggs for the warm half of the year, and through the winter, they get yummy cage-free brown eggs.

Last week, though, I slipped up and grabbed a package of Eggland’s Best when I was at BJ’s, complete with their bright red logo branded onto each egg. Keith was quick to inform me that white eggs are creepy and wrong. When I reminded him that the egg color depends on what type of chicken lays it and that we get white eggs from the farm sometimes, Owen just had to chime in: “Do the ones from the farm have “EB” on them?

So fresh … apparently, unlike the eggs.

I say, the boy may be onto something

Sunday, March 28th, 2010

This was Deb and Owen going at it earlier tonight….

“Owen, that wasn’t a very good job brushing your teeth. You need to do it longer.”

“No.”

“Y’know, that wasn’t very nice and I didn’t like your tone.”

“Nyew.”

“What?”

(Said in his best English accent): “That was in my English accent, did you like that tone better?”

March 19, 2010…

Friday, March 19th, 2010

Not the day the space shuttle exploded.

Not the day Kennedy was assassinated.

Not the day the twin towers crumbled from the New York skyline.

More tragic — March 19, 2010 was the day my magic hat lost its magic. It was only a matter of time….

What could take its place? Perhaps a scarf with Hello Kitty patterns, worn around my head like a do-rag?

Our favorite costume

Wednesday, February 24th, 2010

One of the things Owen likes to do before I say goodnight to him is talk for a few minutes, just man-to-man, about stuff. Y’know, sueprheroes, comic books, games … man stuff. Tonight he said he had one more thing to tell me before I left.

“You know what my favorite costume is?”

“Hmm…. I dunno, Batman?”

He points to his chest. He was wearing superhero jammies of some kind, though he had them on backwards … on purpose. But the side I saw was blue, so I guessed.

“Superman?”

“No. These are Spider-Man. See?” He shows me the other side.

“Oh! So Spider-Man is your favorite! OK, good night.”

“No. That’s not my favorite. My favorite is just being me.” He points again to his chest.

“Oh! Well, y’know Owen, that’s my favorite costume of yours too.”

And what did he think an Octopus had?

Wednesday, February 24th, 2010

“Daddy, who are you drawing?”

“Vilgax. From Ben 10.”

“What’s that coming out of his head?”

“It’s Vilgax, so he’s got tentacles coming out of his face, right?”

“WHAT?! Those aren’t penises!”

Owen wears a shirt that ‘no one has ever seen before’ on school picture day

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

Three questions:

  • Is anyone still wondering why I haven’t given out any school pictures of Owen?
  • Could a seasoned school photographer really be so bad that he can’t get the weird kid to look at the camera?
  • Can you tell that Owen painted the scorpion on his shirt himself? It is too a scorpion.

Meet my magic hat

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010


Owen may have super powers, but I’ve got a magic hat. Seriously, Frosty the Snowman‘s hat has nothing on my bewitching head gear. Not only does my magic hat solve problems a year-and-a-half old, but it repels even the cutest of five-year-old boys and answers questions previously thought unanswerable.

You may remember the earth-shattering question I posed not too long ago: Is Owen the next Gandhi, or am I just embarrassing? Well, I decided to try a little experiment this morning. Just before it was time to drive Owen to school, the “boy hat” (henceforth known as the “magic hat”) found its way to my head. I said nothing, Owen said nothing.

As we pulled up to the school, I asked Owen if he was going to walk in by himself today. His answer: “Yes, ’cause (he points at my head) of the hat. I will walk in myself every time you wear that hat.”

That can be arranged….

Who knew all I had to do was wear a baseball hat in order to benefit from the convenient valet service at Owen’s preschool? If someone had told me this a year-and-a-half ago, I would have gladly complied.

So now we know: Owen may not be the next Gandhi, but I am most definitely embarrassing. But I have a magic hat now, so who cares?